(Not actual but still awesome) First Post!

This is the first post for our self-advertised Superhero Services. I have a feeling we will really get a lot of good feedback for this. Our select trio of professionals (Or couple of "professionals", strictly speaking I'm an intern) use our unique gifts and progressive training to deal with any computer dilemma, vanquish your viruses, and calm your web willies with a near supernatural prowess, and without the ridiculous fees of the other Supers, not to mention the moral snootiness displayed by certain good deed-doers (Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern) or the irritating emotional issues (can you say Batman!). I mean, they're not always the most forgiving chaps. Take for instance a perfectly legitmiate experiment with a sonic time disrupter, several pints of caramel and Robin's illegitimate infant that gets a little messy, OK accidents happen right? Wrong, there's this huge tribunal and you're on f***ing probation and theres f***ing essays, man, screw that, who needs it? And do they appreciate the fact that you're a veritable tech genius? No, if it wasn't caused by a nuclear explosion then it's not worth exploring. They say, "look, Billy, you're a three-foot-tall cognitive gnat, ok, just settle for the wall-skimming and the side-action stinging, let the humanoids and aliens take care of the big stuff". I mean, just because you've got mandibles doesn't mean you can't feel, yeah? So you go somewhere where you can really make a difference, although now you spend most of your time on sushi runs and taking phone calls, six years of Superhero college to be a bloody assistant...Anyway, it's unlikely that those Supers would lower themselves to save you from motherboard meltdown, and have you seen the rates of those "technicians"? Seriously, how many of you are roping your teenager into temporarily fixing your bugs you are simply too terrified to tackle on your own? I say let the Bugs handle the bugs. With us, you can set up a premium package complete with GPS panic packet. We'd like our customers to be life-long relationships. Make sure to follow the link to our website!
Check you later,
The InterGnat.